dearest deer

Dearest Deer,

Don't get us wrong, we love you. We just feel that an attitude adjustment is needed...on YOUR part.

You see, we think you guys are kinda being jerks. You would think that after months of lovingly watching you (that's right, LOVINGLY WATCHING, not stalking), getting to know you and your habits, and providing food for you, you would let us get close enough to cuddle you, or - at the very least - let us leave the house to go to campus without making us feel like we're monsters for waking you up from your morning naps. We can't even move around in our own apartment without worrying about disturbing you, because you can see us through the windows and that "startles" you. Ridiculous.

I mean, have we done ANYTHING to make you believe we're going to harm you? We feed you at least twice a day during the week, and EVERY TIME you deign to grace us with your presence on the weekends. We include food for YOU on our shopping list, and make special trips to the store for YOU. Yet, you continue to act like we're trying to catch you and eat you. And it's getting WORSE. For a while there, it really felt like we were making progress, but now it seems like this whole relationship is moving backwards.

Don't play stupid with us. WE KNOW that YOU KNOW that we are the ones providing you with all those yummy treats. Sure, you play stupid now, but we all know that there was a time when we could just shake a bag of goodies, and all of you would just come trotting over the creek on that fallen tree to get your fill.

Now, you think its okay to make us wait around like a couple of schmucks with a giant sack of yummies in the freezing cold, while you hang out in a group and laugh at us? Not cool. You're making us feel like that deer you were bullying back in October:

At the time, we felt bad for that poor deer, but we never thought that you would ostracize us that way. Now we know better. You don't even care, do you?


Is this about the zucchini? Did you not like it? We noticed that you seem willing to eat pine needles and roots, but you are actively rejecting the bell peppers. What's up with that?

Also, what's up with this whole, "we will only eat off of the first two stairs to the apartment, but ignore anything from the third stair on" thing? We know you can reach the food on the third step - you're just leaving it there to insult us, aren't you?

So what if Lane is trying to get you to come closer to our door? So what if we're doing this in an effort to lure you into our home? Are you telling us that you prefer to stay out in the cold? That you WANT to sleep in the snow? That you WANT to eat bark? That you would rather stay outside in the freezing weather with the coyotes and coy-dogs than let us spend a little quality time with you in our AWESOME apartment? We would fill our bathtub with food for you, if you wanted us to, do you hear us? OUR BATHTUB.

We're not asking for much, maybe just a little more give in addition to your take. Is that too much to ask, given our history? Remember the good times? Remember that time you came right up to our porch? Remember how we were all friends? Maybe this will jog your memory:

Just think about it. Please?

Your friends forever (or at least until we move in May),

The Puppy and the Penguin

P.S. We know you can be sweet - we saw you cleaning snow off baby.

P.P.S. And do you really want to stay out in this?!

improving

I think we're getting better at this "snow angel" thing.

New Year New Post

First thing's first. We FAILED at becoming vegan. It was pretty sad. After moving out to Ithaca, Lane and I valiantly attempted to cut all animal products out of our diet. We were able to go for roughly two days before cracking. We decided, since we were being "SO GOOD", that we deserved to treat ourselves to chicken wings.This, in itself, should show how desperate we were for meat, since I generally don't even like chicken wings. This went on for about two weeks, where we would stick to our vegan diet for about two days, then splurge on some sort of unhealthy meat product. It was bad. So we gave up. The end.

In other, long overdue, news, we moved out of the apartment we were living in at the beginning of the school year? When we got back here for the fall, the apartment we moved into was ATROCIOUS. We got in on a red-eye flight, and didn't even have the keys to the apartment (the property management company was supposed to put this in the mailbox for us... they didn't). Thankfully, I was eventually able to track down an emergency maintenance number for the place, and we had to wait for about half-an-hour to be let in.

The place was FILTHY. It definitely had not been cleaned, and for some reason, I could not stop sneezing. Turns out, that even though this property management company is known for cashing in security deposits for exiting tenants, they don't actually use it to clean. Fraud anyone? Not only that, there was mold EVERYWHERE. Seriously. EVERYWHERE. If you feel squeamish about mold, don't look at the following few pictures.

actual fruiting bodies of the mold. this was how mature it was, people.

mold on the blinds (the management said were were responsible for them)

dead bugs in closed cupboards? I doubt they cleaned.

In addition to these areas, there was mold throughout the apartment, and water damage everywhere. So I was having severe allergies, and we told the management company that they needed to get rid of the mold, or release us from our lease. They told us that painting over the mold would get rid of it, but, obviously, since we're not idiots, we didn't believe them (apparently, for the management company, paint can fix anything, including crumbling walls).

We let them do their version of "fixing" things, then brought in a mold inspector. He examined the apartment and took some air samples to check on the mold situation. He sent these off to the lab, and when we got the results back, the report told us we had TOXIC BLACK MOLD. Not only that, when we talked to the inspector, he told us these were the highest numbers he had ever seen, and that it could be fatal (this, after the management company told me it was my fault that I was allergic to their lovingly raised mold). Oh, also, he let us know that the area under the bathtub was all dry-rot, so basically we could have taken a shower and fallen into the apartment below.

Needless to say, we decided to move out (thankfully, this had all taken place within the span of three weeks or so, and a professor in my program was kind enough to invite us to stay at his gorgeous house), and sued to get our deposit back. We ended up settling in our favor, but seriously, this property management company is exactly what is wrong with the world. Anyone moving into Ithaca, if you want to know who this is, leave a comment, and I'll let you know.

Thankfully, we stumbled upon the most gorgeous new loft, just outside of town. We saw pictures of it on Craigslist, and fell in LOVE with it. Turns out, the owner wasn't able to finish it before the fall housing rush, so it was still available when we got to it. Want to see pictures? I know you do.

the view from upstairs towards the kitchen

where we sleep.

where lane studies... sometimes.

our spiral staircase. My toes in the upper right.

our living room. amazing view & internet tv included.

our living room, front door to the left.

view from our windows. the deer love it here.

All this, completely furnished, and includes our own washer/dryer (hallelujah), radiant heating (no dust blowing around), internet/utilities, and adorable animal neighbors. Seriously. Our landlord (who is a jazz pianist) and his girlfriend (who runs a wildlife rescue) have the cutest pets, and when they're out of town, we get to go over and play with the little creatures. One cute bunny with blue eyes, and two lovey kitties. They also used to have a white chinchilla, but, sadly, he passed away recently. He was the funniest thing - it was like he was constantly trying to take over the world. The only picture I have of any of the animals is Bubba the bunny, so feast your eyes:

bubba lapinopolis (greek, bc of the blue eyes)

Bubba is very easily persuaded by food. You only need to shake his little jar of treats, and sing his "Treat" song, and he will instantly go to his cage. Pathetic, but adorable.

I think that's it for now... Oh wait, Chinese New Year is coming up! That's why the apartment is now actually clean enough that I can post pictures of it... it is also partially the reason for making this:

Char Siu aka Chinese BBQ Pork

Win. I had never made it before, and it was surprisingly close to what one typically gets at a Chinese restaurant. We were pretty happy. Happy New Year!

faux vegan?

Lane and I want to try going vegan when we get back to Ithaca, partly because I always feel guilty about eating animals, and partly because it's just supposed to be healthier. Also, since we'll be in one of the major vegan/vegetarian capitals of the world, we kinda feel like, "Hey, if you can't go vegan here, you probably can't go vegan anywhere."

I've been feeling super ambitious. Like, buying these three cookbooks today on Amazon:

Also, I'm suddenly convinced that I'll cook all these exotic vegan Indian dishes (because Lane now likes Indian food, THANK GOODNESS), so I'm obsessing over buying spices and spice containers.

Then I realize I don't have any Indian cookbooks, vegan or no. Also, the thought of buying a spice grinder is pretty depressing.

Then I start spiraling because, hello? Dinosaur BBQ? and I know that we'll fail even before we've begun.

Also:
STEAK
PEKING DUCK
ZACHARY'S CHICKEN AND BACON PIZZA
MEEEEEAAAAAT

Maybe we'll just be faux vegan... like, only eat meat when we really really want it. But that's all the time... so...umm...

BEHOLD!

our shame.

girl scout cookies are evil.

One of my coworkers was taking girl scout cookie orders for her daughter, and I, being the selfless person I am (I mean, really truly selfless, willing to eat cookies selfless), ordered a few boxes for Lane and me. Okay, we ordered five boxes - I guess certain grinchy people might consider that more than a few. 3 boxes of Thin Mints(how cruel is it that the word 'thin' is in their name?), 1 box of Savannah Smiles lemon cookies, and one box of Dulce de Leche cookies. You would think this would be enough, yes? Sadly, no. We've already gone through two and a half boxes of cookies - we got them a week ago. Also, we've bought two more boxes of the Dulce de Leche cookies. We are awful human beings... but the girl scouts are the scum of the earth for doing this to us and all of America.

On a happier note, here's Jake. 

his near-permanent position. "rub my belly!! love me!!!  love me!!!"

We got to take care of him while his parents were away in Connecticut. He was a very, shall we say, special, pup. He was extremely affectionate so my life at home was filled with joy and puppy cuddles. Maybe too many puppy cuddles.. but is there such a thing?

He enjoyed sleeping in our bed - something which was adorable the first night, somewhat less welcome the second night, and a bit annoying the third night. He always made sure to sleep on my side of the bed (I think he knew not to invade Lane's personal sleeping space, a lesson I have yet to learn), but as much as I love having a pup in my bed, the leg cramping which accompanies scrunching up and staying still for that pup can result in quite the restless night. At one point I woke screaming with a charlie horse. That kinda freaked Lane out.

Poor Lane, people at school actually started to comment on how exhausted he looked - and this was only after two nights with Jake in our bed. On the last night, Lane insisted that Jake sleep out in the living room, but the combination of Jake crying outside of our door and me looking at Lane like he was a monster forced him to give in and let Jake sleep in the room, ONLY on the condition that he stayed on his cushion, and not on our bed. Of course, Jake would have none of that, and Lane finally had to really yell at him to stay off the bed. Down went Jake, going straight under the bed to hide from the 'bad man'. He stayed there for about half an hour, until we turned off the light, then back he jumped onto the bed, and we could not keep him off. So that was it. Jake won.

But then, can we really blame Jake? He was just used to sleeping in a bed... and he missed his parents! We were somewhat concerned because he did seem pretty depressed the first night they dropped him off, and then the next day he didn't eat anything ALL DAY. His food bowl hadn't been touched, but he kept following us around the kitchen like he was starving. We would point to his food bowl and tell him to eat. He would the sniff the bowl and walk away. Finally Lane came up with the idea to pretend the kibble pieces were treats and toss them one at a time to Jake. Jake liked this. For the next few days, Lane had to feed Jake this way. Poor Lane - Jake totally owned him.

lane: "treat! treat!"
jake: "feed me!"

jake: "i love treats!"
lane: "i think this dog might be slow"

We tried to understand Jake's behavior, and here are a few theories we came up with.

• For some reason, he was scared of the kitchen cabinets (he would always hide or shake when we were opening and closing them). Maybe he needed someone there to protect him from them while he ate.
• Since he was away from home, he thought he deserved special treatment, and thus deserved treats in place of regular food.
• He was really freaked out when the dogs across the street started barking at him (like seriously freaked out, trying to crawl and hide behind the bushes to get back inside the house as quickly as possible freaked out*), and might have been scared about the food potentially belonging to them.
• He was too full from eating the deer poop he found on his walks outside.

At any rate, it was fun to have Jake visit. If only we could take care of little white goat, too!

* this incident was actually pretty hilarious - especially since the dogs across the street are really neither big nor aggressive.

little white goat, standard brown goat, little white goat, standard brooown goat!

Back in the fall, before Lane started taking the bus to school, I would drive him to and from campus. I - being the excellent driver that I am, and yes, I AM ASIAN - would watch the road, and Lane would watch the scenery. About a couple weeks into classes, on our way back home, Lane told me that he had noticed a brown goat and a little white goat living in a small fenced-in area next to a house along the side of the road. Of course, I found all of this very exciting. After, all, as I've mentioned in the past, goats are perfect companions for puppies. I wasn't able to see the goats that day, but after keeping a lookout for them for a few days, I finally saw them! Ever since then, Lane and I have taken a keen interest in the two. We call them 'little white goat' and 'standard brown goat', and look out for them every time we pass by. If we're not together, we always make sure to text each other updates as we go past.

At first we thought they were the best of friends because we saw them cuddling one day. Then we were kind of worried that standard brown was bullying little white, because standard brown wouldn't let little white up on his ramp, and because we saw little white standing out in the cold, reduced to eating chicken feed (oh yeah, did we mention they live with chickens? yeah). We think maybe standard brown was concerned that little white was planning to stage a coup to become king of the coop (of course, little white would never do this, Lane and I believe he would have just waited for his time in the sun).

We felt bad for little white. Then we became even more concerned, because a third goat, we call him 'shaggy brown goat', was seen in the pen, and he seemed really aggressive towards both standard brown and little white. At this point it looked like little white was always out in the cold, even when it was dark, and even the chickens didn't hang out with him. It was EXTREMELY upsetting.

Thankfully, after a few weeks we no longer saw shaggy brown - we think he might have just been a visiting cousin of standard brown or something. At any rate, after that, standard brown started being nice to little white again, so Lane and I were happy again. I think maybe standard brown had gotten a taste of his own medicine from shaggy brown, and realized the error of his ways. Let's not over-analyze it, though.

Lane and I cannot even describe how much we love these goats. A couple weeks ago we finally got the courage to pull over to see them - we honked the horn and they came out and "maaaah"ed at us. We were so stinking thrilled. We stayed for what some people would say is way too long; I was scared that the owners would come out, find us, and shoot us for trespassing. Still, the lure of little white and standard brown are too great to resist - we stopped by again today and got these images and video. Enjoy!

little white in all his glory

standard brown rocking the goatee look

the dynamic duo, oh how we love them!

Lane couldn't resist - he got out of the car and went to pet them. According to him, their faces felt bristly, but they were friendly and enjoyed smelling him. I was jealous, but didn't want to get shot by their owners - even though it probably would have been worth it.

Here's another video - this time of them nuzzling. You can hear standard brown make a little "maaaaah" at the end.

In other très exciting news, Lane and I will be dogsitting this week! Our landlords are going out of town for a few days, and Lane and I volunteered to take care of their funny little dog, Jake. When I found out we would get to dogsit, I could not contain myself. It seriously took me forever to fall asleep that night, I was so excited. Pictures and videos to come!

.... ahhhh! okay! i can't resist! one last video of little white and standard brown - note the chicken running in the background at 00:19 - for some reason, just soooo hilarious.

I love them. I really, truly love them.